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Be a Wise Consumer

Pay with a credit card (deposits too). That way if you are unhappy with the service or have problems that aren't resolved, you may have some recourse with the credit card company. Don't forget to ask for references and check them out. You can also check with the Better Business Bureau in your local area prior to booking a vendor, to see if there have been any complaints and if so, how they were handled. Be sure to get any agreements in writing, so there won't be any misunderstandings later as to what was supposed to be done.

NEED ADVICE?  SEE THE LIST BELOW FOR SAVING SUGGESTION LINKS. 
A BEAUTIFUL WEDDING DOESN'T NEED TO COST A FORTUNE!

• Want to be the best prepared bride you can be?!  Start shopping before you are engaged if possible.  Start a notebook of pictures you see in magazines and the internet that you like.  Then you can take them around to vendors at bridal shows to get cost estimates.
• NEVER TELL A VENDOR YOU ARE GETTING PRICE QUOTES FOR YOUR "WEDDING."  Some vendors will actually increase the price by 10-30% just because it's a wedding!  Tell them it's for a family event.
• Your local public library is a wealth of information for the bride.  Check out wedding books instead of purchasing them and then letting them sit on the shelf.  A MUST FOR EVERY BRIDE TO READ BEFORE HER WEDDING IS BRIDAL BARGAINS by Denise and Alan Fields as seen on the Oprah Winfrey Show.
• Check out the prices of out of town or small town vendors.  Sometimes they are less expensive.
• Remember that you may be too busy greeting guests to actually eat.  Have the caterer or a family member prepare a honeymoon to-go box with a sample of all the foods.  You'll really appreciate it later!
• Never assume anything is free.
• If you decide to have your wedding at a hotel, ask about special discounts for rooms for your guests and the bridal suite.
• Want a fun reception exit?  Use sparklers (providing buckets of water for dousing), releasing balloons (did you use balloon bouquets for the centerpieces or decorations that can now be released by your guests as you exit?).
• Never visit your vendors wearing expensive clothes, leave your gorgeous diamond at home and do not drive up in an expensive car.  Wedding vendors smell money!
• When registering for gifts, be sure the items are in stock.  If not, it could be months before your items are in stock.  Be careful of seasonal registries.
• Worried about the weather for your special day.  Check out the Farmer's Almanac in any library or bookstore.  Choose your date based on past weather patterns.  One bride choose a date for her outdoor wedding which had never rained in the past.  Eight years later, it's still never rained on her anniversary!  www.almanac.com.  Sign in, go under weather, then weather history and input your date of choice, choosing back the last 10 years to see what percentage of those days in history rained.
• When planning your honeymoon, here's where the word "wedding" can help.  Often times there are special packages for newlyweds, upgrades to better suites, etc.
• CALL ALL VENDORS THE WEEK BEFORE TO CONFIRM WHAT YOU HAVE ORDERED.  Also get all cell numbers, pagers numbers, even home phone numbers if you can.
• For the day of your wedding, prepare a packet with copies of all contracts, vendors numbers AND cell numbers.  Designate a friend or relative to be your overseer if you do not have a wedding coordinator.  This person will have the packet with the copies of contract and contact numbers and is to oversee that the vendors have arrived and are providing things according to your wishes.  If they don't deliver what they have promised, demand a discount or partial refund for their services.
• Be sure you bring an emergency sewing kit to your wedding site.  A hot glue gun wouldn't be a bad idea either!  Safety pins, Band-Aids, Hair pins, Tissues, Breath mints, Hand towelettes, Nail polish, Scissors, Needle and thread to match dresses, Comb/brush, Baby powder, Scotch tape
  Nail file, Tampons, Aspirin, Pantyhose, Mascara, Lip gloss, Contact lens fluid, Hair spray
  Blush, preparation H (for any little bags under your eyes), And any other items you may feel necessary to have around on your big day!
• Enjoy your day!  It will only come once and the more you enjoy it and don't stress over every little detail, the more you'll remember it and have fun.  Biggest hint:  The day of the wedding take a jacuzzi tub bath, soak for 30 minutes in bubbles thinking about NOTHING. You'll come out refreshed and relaxed!  Soaking in a hot tub for 20 minutes will work, too.  Do stretching exercises and deep breathing just before you put on your wedding gown.

Reception Beverages - Cash bars are in bad taste, in my opinion.  Remember when you serve alcohol, you open a door to tipsy obnoxious guests and possible liabilities.  If you want to serve alcohol and keep everything in control, here's a few suggestions:

• Consider doing a champagne toast - have enough champagne for your guests to toast their glasses to you.
• Serve only wine and beer or just wine- calculate 2 glasses per drinkable guest.  If you want to add beer, provide enough beer for each guest to have only one bottle or 2 glasses if using a keg.
• Hidden costs come in when caterers or reception site personnel serve your beverages.  Instead hire a college student or perhaps a friend wouldn't mind doing it.
• Want a great alternative to alcohol?!  Try flavored teas such as raspberry or rent an inexpensive beverage fountain.  Or try a punch recipe of your own.  Keep plastic cartons such as milk cartons or orange juice (rinse thoroughly and let air dry), fill with punch or flavored tea, then the punch or tea can be poured into the fountain or punchbowl as needed.

The Wedding Attire:   Let's start with the flower girl and work up.  Ask the flower girl's mom if she has a pretty white dress already or maybe something from Easter that the flower girl can wear rather than buying her a new dress.  Bridesmaid often get the short end of the stick when it comes to the wedding attire.  Be careful when choosing a dress for your bridesmaids.  Remember most of them are not supermodels and that gorgeous dress the model is wearing in the magazine may look hideous on your best friend.  Be even more careful when choosing colors.  Although you may want hot pink as your colors (which will look stunning for your flowers), your bridesmaids may look like huge pompoms which will make horrible looking wedding photographs.  Choose soft colors - chocolate, periwinkle, champagne, sage.  Straight skirts look more sophisticated than hoop type skirts.  Should the bride pay for the bridesmaid dress?  If you're going to pick a sophisticated dress that can be worn to other occasions, letting the bridesmaids pay for their dress would be a great idea. The dress shouldn't be more than $150.00 if the bridesmaids are paying the tab. If you're going to pick a dress that will only work for your wedding such as a lime green hoop dress and costs a small fortune, picking up the tab for the dress might keep you friends with your bridesmaids.  www.chadwicks.com is a great site for beautiful and inexpensive bridesmaid dresses.

The bride's dress is often the most frustrating thing to purchase for the bride.  Here are a few tips that might help.

• Avoid shopping for a wedding dress on Saturdays.  This is the busiest day for the boutique.
• If the dress doesn't have a tag identifying the designer, ask the clerk.  This allows you to call around and shop for the best price based on the designer and number.
• Try off the rack boutiques like DAVID'S.
• Buy a gown in off season such as November or December when boutiques are slow.
• Try Filene's Basement Sale.  Over 1000-3000 dresses for $249!  You've heard of running with the bulls?  This is similar.  Check out their website at www.filenesbasement.com for more details and for their upcoming SALE
• If a gown is too big but is an absolute steal, have it cut down.  Even with alteration charges you may save a bundle.  Don't forget to save all that material and beading to decorate your shoes or make a ring pillow.
• Bridal sizes DO NOT correspond to street sizes.  Example if you wear an 8 you might wear a 12 wedding dress!
• If shopping with an online wedding dress service, have the dress shipped to a business address.  You'll save in shipping costs.
• Avoid having your dress "preserved."  A simple cleaning of your gown by a reputable cleaner, putting it in a clean white sheet bag and storing it in a cool place (never the attic or basement!) will help preserve your gown just as well as "preserving."  Some fabrics just don't age well no matter how you preserve them.
• Consider making your own wedding veil.  Places like Hobby Lobby and Michael's Craft stores carry a wide variety of veil kits so you can come up with your own creation!
• Looking to shop online for your dress?  here's some sites:  www.theknot.com ; www.romanticheadlines.com ; www.bridalgown.com ; www.marisabridals.com ; www.privatelabelbyg.com ; www.discountbridalservice.com ; www.budgetgowns.com
• Shop EBAY.  You'd be surprised at the bargains you can find!
• Like the dress to the right?  It's only $139.00 at www.chadwicks.com.  Very sophisticated!

Flowers:  Consider using more real flowers for your reception than the wedding.  Why?  You'll be at the reception longer and will get more use of the floers.  Also, if you're having the ceremony and reception in the same location, have the flowers moved from the ceremony to the reception hall.  Also consider renting plants or using what is available at the site. Home Depot has beautiful potted plants and flowers.   Here are a few solutions for centerpieces:  balloons, edible centerpieces, fish bowls, candles. Hit after Christmas sales for twinkling lights, gold candles, bells, etc.  Remember, flowers are cheap but florists are not.  For your flower girl, get roses from the grocery store and pull them apart to put in her basket to throw going down the aisle.  Perhaps you have a creative friend you could hire to arrange some flowers purchased at the grocery store.  Be careful of flowers which are sensitive to heat as in southern summers.  When ordering corsages, tell the florist it's for a family event instead of a wedding.  Again, remember the "wedding" markup.  Visit www.flowersales.com for more suggestions.

Catering:
When shopping for a caterer, never use the phone book.  Just because a caterer has the biggest ad doesn't mean they have the best food.  Always ask the caterer to sample their foods.  Word of mouth is best when choosing a caterer or going to a bridal show will allow you to taste all the local caterers so you can decide for yourself.  The markup for "wedding" can sometimes be 10-30% more so tell the caterer it's a family event.  Often times the "wedding" menu is very selective, with more expensive foods than if you ask for a "family even" menu.  Avoid seafood and beef as these are budget busters!  Be sure the foods you select, ie fruits and vegetables are in season.  Buying out of season could get costly.  When deciding appetizers, 8-10 pieces per guest is appropriate.

Wedding/Bridal shows:  What a great resource for shopping for your wedding all in one spot!  Most shows are in January or October but you can call some caterers or photographers to find out what shows they attend. Be prepared and have pen and paper in hand.  A notebook with different sections might be helpful as well.  Ask different vendors at the show who they recommend for a photographer, caterer, cake decorator, etc.  Write down the name of the person you talked to at the show and be sure to pick up brochures and ask lots of questions.  My advice:  hit the bridal show before booking or deciding anything.  Vendors will have displays with pictures and collages of their work that might help make deciding a bit easier.  Although not ALL wedding vendors attend the bridal show, you'll get a pretty good idea of what you want based on what you see at the show.  In Mobile, check out "WEDDINGS TO BRAGG ABOUT" BRIDAL SHOW at the Bragg Mitchell Mansion during October and "WEDDINGS OF A LIFETIME" during January contact Jim Francias at Francias Formal wear.

Music Selection -

• Create your own music CD for the wedding and/or reception.  Download music and make a personal cd you'll have forever.  Visit www.weddingtips.com click on favorite wedding songs or www.ultimatewedding.com click on Resources and down the right side is planning resources.
• Check out the music requirements at the church or hall.  Some churches will not allow dancing so best to inquire first.
   

Reception Sites - How to Pick One - To save money, consider having the wedding and reception at the same location.  This will not only save money, but will keep all your guests in one place which can be a real asset for guests who aren't familiar with your area.  In addition, look for reception sites that already have table and chairs available.  This will save renting these items.  Also some venues already have table cloths for the tables they provide but you may have to ask for them.  If not, an inexpensive alternative to cloth tableclothes is plastic which can be purchased at any party store or supermarket such as Walmart.  These also help in clean up which is sometimes a big help to the family.  Or you could combine cloth tableclothes with plastic table toppers (smaller size that just covers the top of the table and hangs over about 2" on all sides).
Setting the table can be easy.  See the pictures below for ideas on how to decorate the napkin. Also to save even more money, try to rent a venue that will allow your own catering and not theirs.  Buy purchasing foods at a membership club such as Sam's or Costco, you can have beautiful h'ordeurves for very little money.  And nothing says you have to have a fancy spread prepared.  A few key finger foods will go a long way.  Buffets are easier to plan and easier on the budget.  Beautiful clear acrylic disposable plates can be purchased at the membership clubs or discount supermarkets.  Catering your own wedding is a little more time involved, but with good cooks who love to show off their food, you can save money.  Simple dishes can be garnished with lettuce, sprigs of parsley, etc. to make it look like you hired a caterer.  Again, the local public library can be a big resource in catering your own wedding.

Want some wedding/reception site ideas:  downtown skyscrapers with restaurants or business clubs, private clubs and country clubs sometimes allow non-members to have events and the lush grounds make a beautiful background; gardens, parks and museums, recreational centers, town halls, civic centers, conferences centers, hotel ballroom or meeting rooms.  Do you have a friend with a beautiful garden that could allow the wedding (then you'd have to rent tables and chairs) but this could save a bundle.

Bride's, Bride's Maid Bouquets -  Consider silk flowers for your bouquets and boutenieres.  These can be done months in advance and will stay beautiful forever.  Your bouquet can even be passed to your daughter one day.

The Wedding Cake - Wedding cakes are a traditional part of any wedding but they don't have to break your budget.  Have your local supermarket or bakery make a simple cake and then you can apply fresh flowers to it when it arrives at the reception hall.  If the caterer or reception hall is serving the cake, be careful to avoid "cake slicing" charges.  Another trick one bride did was to have a small beautiful cake out for pictures and bride and groom cutting, then had the cake wheeled to the back kitchen where it was sliced along with a bigger sheet cake.  No one knew that all the cake didn't come from the decorated brides cake.

Taking Care of your Vendors
A big debate comes in where feeding the vendors is concerned.  My personal opinion is if the vendors at your wedding are treated with courtesy, they will enjoy doing "extras" for your wedding.  Consult with your caterer for ideas on how to feed those working your wedding. If you're planning a sit down feast, you certainly don't have to offer the vendors the most expensive plate.  Perhaps the caterer can provides some sandwiches to be passed out to those working the wedding.  If you're planning a buffet, invite your vendors to make themselves a plate AFTER all the guests have finished getting their plates.  Chances are you'll have alot of extra food to give up a couple of plates. Yes, you are paying all the vendors a handsome fee, but a hungry vendor may not give their all to your special day.  Again, a little courtesy goes a long way.

The Rehearsal Dinner  - Here's where alot of money can be spent.  To save, consider having your rehearsal dinner at the wedding/reception venue where hopefully you already have tables and chairs available.  The family can bring their "favorite" dishes to show off.  Consider having a rehearsal brunch or tea.  If the event venue is charging you for the night before the wedding and for the wedding day, this could eliminate the extra day fee.  With the money you save, you can have salads and tea sandwiches catered for a very reasonable fee.  And by having the rehearsal the day of the wedding instead of the night before, it allows all the wedding party to be on time and accounted for plus it makes it more of an all day event.

Ring Pillows, Goblets and Candles - Here's where alot of money is wasted.  You purchase a ring pillow you will never use again not to mention cake server and cutter.  Here's a tip: Purchase a cake server and cutter that will match the silverware you will have after you are married.  That way it doesn't go to waste.  Ring pillow: make your own!  Pillows are easy and with a few beads and bows you'll have a custom item to pass down to your daughter one day.  Another tip is if you have your wedding dress altered, use some of the fabric from the dress.  Wedding gown trains can make beautiful pillows and the material won't go to waste.  Unity candles can be expensive but with a nice big white candle, glue gun and some embellishments from the fabric store, you can make a one of a kind piece.  Then just choose 2 regular white candles for each side.  Toasting goblets don't need to be lavish with "bride and groom" engraved on them.  Choose glasses that will compliment your future dish pattern.  Gobblets with gold or silver rims can be purchases in any store for a fraction of the cost and are just as beautiful as "wedding goblets." 

Photographers - This can be a big chunk of your budget.  Ask your potential photographer if they store your pictures on disc or negatives and if you can get the originals.  Photographers who put their photos on disc for you to purchase can save a bundle when it comes time to reprint.  Beware of fine print which can dictate hidden charges.

Invitations and Programs - If you're computer savvy, printing your own invitations can save a bunch.  Beautiful papers can be purchased from any office supply store or even ordered online and then run through your printer. Some wedding companies will provide this service for just a small fee and with a guest list complete with correct addresses, can also print your envelopes so you don't have to address each one, print a helpful map to include in the invitation and will even mail it all for you.  Having a stationery store print them on location with flat print can also save a bundle.  Always order a little more than you need.  It's cheaper to over print while the printer is going than to come back later and have to order 50 more invitations.  The new trend is larger invitations but those trendy invitations will require more postage.  Consider post cards for the reply cards.  They require no envelope and you can get away with cheaper postage.  Wedding programs can be a nice keepsake for your guests and are very easy to do or can be printed by the same wedding company that does your invitations.  Or you can try your hand at it but clicking on www.weddingboutique.us .Printed napkins can be an expensive better left for those with bigger budgets.  Plain colored or design napkins purchased at party stores or even discount supermarkets can save a great deal of expense and you won't feel like your money is being "thrown away!"  An embosser is a nice touch for return addresses on your envelopes and is very cost effective.  http://www.livingvictorian.com/embosswedding.html and http://www.stampco.com/embosser.html provide embossers for about $40.00.  Never send a gift registry card with your invitations.  If your guests want to know where you are registered, they will contact a family member or friend.  Some great sites for ideas is www.invitesite.com , www.invitationhotline.com and www.papershowcase.com .

Wedding Shoes - Get creative.  Buy an inexpensive pair of white or off-white shoes, with a glue gun add pearls and appliques to make a stunning and expensive looking shoe.  Remember, no one will be looking at your feet!  Why spend alot of money there!

Transportation
Again, the word "wedding" can raise the cost by 1/3 so when calling around for prices, tell the company it's for a family gathering.  Also check into corporate limos, "pick up and drop off" service and consider a regular limo instead of a "stretch" limo.  Believe it or not, some funeral homes have stretch limos they rent for alot less than regular limo companies.  It's worth checking out.  If you know someone with a fantastic antique car, perhaps they would consider being your driver for a fee.  Even renting a black cadillac or town car can be affordable.

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How to Set your table.   Shown: A six piece setting From left to right:  Salad Fork, place fork, place knife modern blade), teaspoon, soup spoon  with the individual butter spreader at the top of the plate. Place your dinner plate on your table in front of the chair.  On the right side of the plate, place your entree knife with the blade facing in toward the plate.  ( You will notice that most engraving, if you have your silverware monogrammed,  faces away from you.).  To the right of the knife place your teaspoon.  To the right of the teaspoon, place your soup spoon.  (This can be either your round bowl, cream soup or the more versatile oval/place soup. To the left of your plate, place the entree fork and then the salad fork.  If you are using a bread plate you may place it either to the left of the forks or slightly above them.  You, then, may place your bread and butter knife either on the bread plate or above the plate as shown in the picture.  In either case the blade should be facing toward the dinner plate.  Your glasses go above the knives with the water glasses closest to the plate.  Your wine glasses will go to the right of your water glass.  Your napkin may go on the plate as shown above or be placed to the left of your forks. You may use your luncheon size settings,  your place size settings or your dinner size settings for the same occasions. It is no longer necessary to have more than one size knife and fork. Many years ago when life was more formal and silver was owned by the very well to do with many servants, there was a larger size  knife and fork used for formal dinners. Dinner size knives are between 9 1/2" to 10" long. Forks are between 7 1/2" to 8 " long.  They are a bit more bulky. There was also a luncheon size knife and fork for the more informal supper or luncheon.  The luncheon size knife is approximately 9" long.  The forks are approximately 7" long. In the fifties, a third size was made by some companies to compromise between the two.  This was called the place size.  It has a knife that is is usually approximately  9 1/4" long.  The handle is usually longer than the handles on either the luncheon knife or dinner fork. The fork is usually  7 1/4" long.  The Gorham Company stamps their place size knife and fork with a tiny p inside of a diamond on the back of the entree fork, beside the sterling stamp All three sizes are still being made.  It is your own, personal decision as to which size you prefer. A new size, the oversized continental size, which is even larger than the dinner size is being made in a few patterns.  This corresponds to the size that you will see in some European countries. Pictured Here a Comparison of Place Size & Dinner Size in the Pattern " French Renaissance "  by  Reed & Barton . There are also 2 types of knife blades.  The most currant blade is the modern blade.  If you look at where the handle meets the blade,  the blade itself is very similar on both sides & flows into the handle is a smooth, graceful line.  The older style is the french blade.  If you look where the handle meets the blade, one side of the blade juts out in a manner similar to a hatchet.  These were made is several styles. The old french is a wider blade.  The new french tapers off more when it gets to the end of the blade.   French Blade Knife Modern  Blade Knife If you plan to serve a separate fish course, we recommend the luncheon knife and fork.  Very few patterns have their own fish knife and fork.  Especially if you are using the dinner size setting, the luncheon knife and fork will substitute nicely for the fish knife and fork. The basic serving pieces in sterling, silver plated and stainless flatware are a table serving spoon, 1 pierced (slotted) table serving spoon, a meat serving fork, a master butter server & a sugar spoon.   The gravy ladle used to be considered very necessary but recently the pie/cake server has replaced it.  Many people no longer serve as many foods with gravy.  It is still available.  It is usually necessary to have two to three table serving spoons.  More than one pie/cake server may be needed for your party buffet with more than one dessert that needs to be sliced and served.

In the United States generations ago, family mealtime around the kitchen table happened every night. The table set with plate, drinking glass, knife, fork, spoon, napkin and a centerpiece was very commonplace in most homes. Today many children in our country are growing up not even knowing about mealtime around a kitchen table, much less how to set the table.

We live in a fast paced society where fast food chains are thriving. Meals are eaten in the car, at the gym, at work, at play, and anywhere else except for the kitchen table. Mealtime is becoming a lost art and with it the art of setting a table properly. Eating together is not only fun but also necessary to slow down and listen to each other. What better place to eat together than around a kitchen table with the table set?

A basic table setting is easy and fun. Have a family together time and teach how to set the table. Younger children will love it and will ask to get to set the table often, if you explain it in a positive manner. Even older children will appreciate a nicely set table. If you are unable to set a table once a day for a meal together, try picking out one special day each week where you sit down together at a table that has been set.

To set a basic table, you will need a dinner plate, glass, knife, fork, spoon and napkin. A simple centerpiece, salt and pepper along with any other seasonings or condiments your family enjoys is a wonderful finishing touch. Placemats or tablecloths are nice but don’t overdo it unless you enjoy overdoing it. Keeping it simple may be the key to routine table setting.

Place the dinner plates one inch from the edge of the table. If there is a pattern in the middle of the plate, make sure that it is right side. Place the knife on the right side of the plate, blade inward, one inch from the edge of the table, handle end of knife at the bottom. Make sure the knife is next to the plate, not underneath the plate. The tablespoon is placed next to the knife, also one inch from the bottom of the table. The fork is place on the left side of the dinner plate one inch from the edge of the table, making sure it is also next to the plate verses underneath the plate. The napkin is folded in half and placed next to the fork with the crease farthest away from the fork. The glass is placed directly above the knife approximately one inch.

If other silverware is needed for salad, soup, or dessert, place the spoons next to the spoons and forks next to the forks. Silverware is placed in order of what is to be eaten, beginning furthest away from the dinner plate and working your way towards the dinner plate. A salad fork would be placed next to the dinner fork, one inch from the edge of the table, and would be furthest from the dinner plate. A soupspoon would be placed next to the tablespoon, one inch from the edge of the table, and would be furthest from the dinner plate. A dessert fork would be placed next to the dinner plate before the dinner fork because you would use the dessert fork last.

Centerpieces can be simple or elaborate, fun and festive, or elegant and beautiful. Table setting themes are easily achieved with seasonal items and seasonal napkins. Seasonal salt and pepper shakers can be purchased inexpensively. A bouquet of flowers, a ceramic object, pinecones, a toy, leaves, fruit, and almost anything else can be used as a centerpiece. Having a centerpiece that is too large and tall is the most common mistake. Make sure that people are able to see across the table to others sitting at the table without the centerpiece blocking their view. Children love making simple placemats from construction paper to go along with a theme. They can be colored, painted, stamped or edges cut to fit in to a certain theme. With some simple preparation, any occasion can be wonderful.

HOW TO SET THE TABLE

casual